it seems this is going to be a constant, repeating, and neverending occurence, many times a day, every single day, forever. I will be living a very public life, as I have been doing, much to my resistance. it is very unpleasant to have companions to my thoughts, especially coercive ones. a thought is not a gesture, an invitation, or a means of communication. words are means of communication. thoughts are not. when I am inside my house and I lock the door, and take every other precaution to keep them away, not only is that indicative that I don't feel like having company, but that I am trying very hard to avoid having company. If I build visible walls around me, it's not meant as a gesture, but could be taken as one. a thought, however, of any sort, is definitely not a gesture. it's a funny thing about thoughts. thoughts could themselves vary. to the thinker, one thought could be very different from another thought. to someone else, all the most different thoughts, opposite thoughts, in all their great variety, are all just one and the same thing: not their business. words, on the other hand, are a mode of communication. that's precisely what they are, a mode of communication, unlike thoughts. if whenever I say anything, the world must then mirror whatever I said, it is a method of killing the only mode of communication that can be agreed upon: words. if a mode of communication is to be precisely that, a mode of communication, it must be agreed upon as a mode of communication by those communicating. for example: if society insists that my thoughts are a mode of communication, and I do not accept that my thoughts are a mode of communication, then thoughts cannot be a mode of communication, because communication is impossible if those communicating cannot agree upon the mode of communication. on another note, words, which are a mode of communication, can be restricted, but should not. censorship can take many forms. if I am intimidated by authority figures, for instance, because I commited an act of speech concerning authority figures, it is the use of fear and coercion to discourage me from commiting further acts of speech concerning authority figures. if the world must mirror your every act of speech, it is an attempt at coercing you into only talking about pleasant things, and not things that are detrimental to your safety, such as the police.